For Immediate Release
Contact: Rusty Sparks
All-Nite Media Solutions
Journalist Reacts to Sat. Nite Duets New Album, Electric Manland
John Sepulvado says the music is by far the best produced by the band, but adds they have lost all credibility by including him on the cover of the album.
John Sepulvado, a journalist who was once BOTH employed and capable of paying his bills, has reacted to news that his favorite band (currently not dead/broken up), Wisconsin-based Sat. Nite Duets, had released an album comprised of new material.
“The record is such a breath of life into the corpse that is my current situation…I’ve been kinda struggling lately, so I had to ask my neighbor if I could borrow his computer to listen to the new tracks,” Sepulvado said. “So we logged onto his AOL, popped some Hot Pockets in the microwave, and listened to the songs for like 12 hours straight, except for when we took an hour break and cleared the living room so his old lady could watch The Good Wife.”
Sepulvado added that he hasn’t been able to listen to the album since, as he has no electricity in the squat he is living in with “his lady-friend” Shaunna. Their domicile is behind the Diamond Mine trailer park in Lodi, California.
“But the living arrangement hasn’t stopped me from singing the songs non-stop,” Sepulvado said. “Shaunna and I sing them to each other sometimes. She’s into my rendition of ‘Born to Walk.’”
“I really like the song ‘Big Worm,’” added Sepulvado. “I also like the fact this album doesn’t sound like it was produced in someone’s bathroom. Like, the song ‘Process of Elimination’ is totally cool with simple counter-melodies that really rock the hair out of my ears, and the band even has some ladies singing back-up and shit. I’m jealous they talk to ladies.”
“Also, I am sad to see that Andy still has a slight stutter,” Sepulvado stated.
Sepulvado was once a national correspondent at CNN, and early into his tenure he profiled the band for the now disgraced news network. A big fan of Sat. Nite Duets, Sepulvado was initially thrilled to learn his picture was one of the more than 100 featured on the cover of Electric Manland.
“I thought it was really cool to see my picture at first, because that was back when I had all my teeth,” Sepulvado said. “And to be included with other big SND fans like Ellen, Beyonce and Storm Trooper…But then I took a look around, and realized the band probably lost a lot cred when they put me on the album, on account of my new lifestyle. You know, I wanted to call them up and let them know they should probably Photoshop my shit out, but nobody had a phone I could borrow.”
Still, Sepulvado wishes the band well, and hopes they tour the West Coast.
“If they come to Lodi, I know a place we can score free pizza,” Sepulvado said. “It’s kinda cold, but the dudes at All-Time-Pizza let me take home any of the slices they throw away.”